Life · Friendship checker
Are We Actually Friends? Checker
Five friendship markers scored honestly: reciprocity, recency, how you feel afterwards, real knowledge of each other's lives, and crisis-call confidence.
Instant result
Plain-English why
Copyable takeaway
What this means
This tool scores the five behaviours that separate active friendships from comfortable history: who initiates, recency, energy after meeting, real life knowledge, and crisis-call likelihood.
Formula used
Weighted score across five markers: initiation balance, recency, post-meeting energy, life knowledge, and crisis-call likelihood.
Worked example
If they initiate, you met last month, you feel energised, you know their life, and you'd call them in a crisis — score 15/15. Real friend. If you always chase them, you can't remember the last time you met, and you feel drained after — score is low. Acquaintance territory.
Common questions
What score counts as a real friendship?
12 or above out of 15 suggests an active, reciprocal friendship. 7–11 indicates real history but current drift. Below 7 is more acquaintance than friend.
Does distance affect the result?
The tool accounts for time since last meeting, but long-distance friendships can still score high on the other markers. A friend you haven't seen in a year who you'd still call in a crisis is different from someone nearby you feel drained by.
Plain-English summary
Answer the questions to get a verdict on whether this connection is a real friendship or something closer to acquaintance.
This section translates the result into a short, direct takeaway rather than leaving the page at a bare number.
Read the guide
How to tell if a friendship is real or just comfortable history
Friendships drift, effort becomes one-sided, and the connection thins out — but it can be hard to name. These five markers give you an honest read.
Read the guideRelated instruments
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