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Questions, awkwardly answered.

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Life · Family event verdict

Family Event Emotional Cost Calculator

Is attending this family event worth the emotional, financial, and recovery cost? Get a verdict that weighs the real cost against the consequences of not going.

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Life Under 1 minute Verdict card

Family event verdict

Waiting for your input

Enter the event type, costs, and how it affects you. Podge returns a verdict on whether the cost is justified by the relationship stakes.

What this means

This instrument starts blank so it does not judge a made-up example before you have entered your own situation.

Formula used

Net verdict = benefit score (guilt + relationship weight) minus cost score (emotional drain + recovery + financial).

Worked example

Christmas with high drain (8/10), 3-day recovery, £200 cost, but serious fallout if skipped: benefit outweighs cost — go.

Common questions

Does skipping a family event mean I'm a bad person?
No. Events have real costs — financial, emotional, and recovery time. Whether attending is the right call depends on those costs versus the relationship and guilt consequences of not going.

What if the guilt score is high but the relationship consequence is low?
That is worth noticing. High guilt with low actual relationship consequence can signal internalised obligation rather than genuine relationship risk. The tool will reflect the balance.

Plain-English summary

Fill in the questions on the left to generate a verdict card.

This section translates the result into a short, direct takeaway rather than leaving the page at a bare number.

Disclaimer: This is a pattern-recognition tool, not relationship or mental health advice. If family events are significantly affecting your wellbeing, speaking to a therapist is worthwhile.

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