Life · Relationship check
Relationship Red Flag Checker
Score your relationship across key health signals to get a green, amber, or red verdict — with a clear disclaimer that this is not a diagnosis.
Instant result
Plain-English why
Copyable takeaway
What this means
This checker looks at key relational signals: whether you feel heard, your anxiety level, shared responsibility, freedom to maintain outside relationships, and whether controlling or stonewalling patterns are present.
Formula used
Health score = (heard + responsibility + freedom) × 3.33 − anxiety drag − controlling penalty − stonewalling penalty
Worked example
Feeling heard 4/10, anxious 7/10, responsibility 3/10, freedom 4/10, controlling behaviour flagged — score is around 15/100, red.
Common questions
Is a low score proof the relationship is abusive?
No. This tool flags patterns worth examining, not diagnoses. A low score is a prompt to reflect or talk to someone you trust — ideally a qualified professional.
What should I do with a red result?
A red result — especially with controlling behaviour flagged — is a signal to reach out to someone. In the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) is free, confidential, and available 24/7.
Plain-English summary
Enter your scores to get a structured signal check. This is a reflection prompt, not a clinical tool.
This section translates the result into a short, direct takeaway rather than leaving the page at a bare number.
Read the guide
How to recognise relationship red flags without catastrophising every argument
A calm guide to the difference between normal relationship friction and patterns that deserve serious attention.
Read the guideRelated instruments
Keep going
Should I Send That Message Gauge
Paste the message and get a verdict on whether to send it, redraft it, or leave it alone.
Open verdictMain Character Risk Calculator
Estimate whether you are about to make somebody else's moment too much about you.
Open verdictShould This Go In The Group Chat?
Check whether a message belongs in the group chat or needs a smaller, calmer room.
Open verdict